When It Hurts Too Much
by ddlovatojoejonas1
Summary: A Bunheads Fanfiction! Michelle/Sasha heart to hearts because I love whenever they have scenes together! Michelle is put into a mother position for Sasha. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

When It Hurts Too Much

Sasha was sitting in her Spanish class Tuesday afternoon, hurt and confused. Her mom and dad were constantly fighting, and she didn't know when they would stop. Her dad had gotten drunk every night last week, and this week he remained lifeless on the couch as her mother yelled at him. Where did it all go wrong? They used to be so in love, and now they hated each other. Sasha's dad was gay, and the love of his life was moving away soon. Sasha didn't understand how someone could be straight one day and gay the next. When Sasha finished her Spanish test, she asked her teacher if she could be excused to go to the nurse's office.

Sasha lied down on the bed in the nurse's office, trying not to cry. She wanted to go home so badly, but what was home? The place she was living at certainly wasn't it. After about 10 minutes, Sasha asked the nurse if she could use the restroom. Sasha walked into the bathroom stall and locked the door. She opened her bag, and pulled out some scissors she always kept in there. She rolled up her leather jacket sleeve, and began to cut her right wrist. At first it hurt, but then it became more easy and actually a little fun. It relieved her. She cut both of her wrists until they were both bleeding, and then got some bandages from her bag to cover them up. If people found out she had been cutting. Sasha would never be allowed to dance or see her friends again.

After school that day, Sasha went to the dance studio to get changed for ballet.

"Hey Sasha," Boo said "Are you excited about the Nutcracker?"

Sasha sighed, "It's the same ballet every year, Boo. Nothing's changed." Sasha lifted up her bandages just slightly to see if the cuts were still noticeable, which they were. She decided to tell everyone she was helping her mom out in her garden and the Rose bush cut her arms. When she walked into the dance studio, everyone stared at her wrists, including Madame Fanny and Michelle.

"Sasha, what happened to your wrists?" Madame Fanny asked.

"I was helping my mom in her garden and her Rose bush cut my arms. It's no big deal." Sasha shrugged.

"Sasha those bandages go up until your elbow, let me take a look." Madame Fanny reached for Sasha's arms until Sasha backed away.

"No!" she exclaimed. "I mean, they're fine. It will be all better tomorrow. I promise. There's really no need to check them out."

"Wait a minute Sasha, your mom doesn't even have a garden." Boo said quizzically

"She's trying something new." Sasha snapped. "I don't think we have to discuss this anymore." She said as she took her place at the bar. She went on with the rest of class hoping no one would figure out her secret.

Michelle knew the minute Sasha came in with bandages on her arm something was wrong. She'd seen that look before, anger, hurt and fear. She could see behind Sasha's façade that these were no cuts from gardening, but scars from cutting herself. Michelle couldn't figure out why a girl like Sasha would do something like that. She had it all- the prima ballerina, the perfect dance body, she was pretty, smart and popular, so what was the problem? She knew her home situation sucked, but was that really a reason to cut herself? When the class was over, Michelle called for Sasha to come over to her.

"Yeah, what's up?" Sasha asked.

"I think we need to talk," Michelle said, "but get changed first and then meet me back in here."

"Okay" Sasha said grabbing her bag and walking to the dressing room.

Was Michelle on to her? Would she know of her cutting? Would she tell Madame Fanny? Sasha had a million questions running through her mind and she did not want to think about any of them. Maybe Michelle just wanted to talk about her role of Clara in the Nutcracker. Or maybe Michelle wanted to show her videos of her dancing at ABT.

When Sasha came down back to the studio, she was wearing her leather jacket she wore to school that day, a pair of light blue jeans and a blue ruffled top. Everyone else had gone, including Madame Fanny. Michelle was sitting on the couch in there and motioned for Sasha to sit next to her.

"Are you okay?" Michelle asked with some sincerity. She did truly care about Sasha, like her own daughter. Maybe not a daughter, but she did care for her a lot.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Sasha asked lifting her eyebrow.

"I'm asking because I know your secret." Michelle said.

Sasha gasped sarcastically, "You know I sleep with a teddy bear named Mr. Smuggles every night? Man, I didn't think it was _that_ obvious."

"Ha ha," Michelle said adding to the sarcasm, "I'm being serious, Sasha. I know that those cuts didn't come from gardening. I know you've been cutting yourself."

Sasha looked appalled, "I have not! You have no right to accuse me of something like that when you have no idea what's going on in my life!"

Michelle had seen her lie enough times to know when she was so she replied, "If they really are from gardening then let me see them."

"No, that's just gross Michelle."

"Sasha. Let me see them." Michelle said sternly.

"No, this isn't any of your business!" Sasha yelled as Michelle took her arms and began taking the bandages off. "Stop, that really hurts!"

But Michelle didn't stop. She took her right arm's bandage off and Sasha finally gave up so Michelle could take the other one off. Michelle was right; the young girl had been cutting herself.

"Sasha," Michelle said quietly. All Sasha could do was break down crying, right in front of Michelle. Michelle wrapped her arms around Sasha tightly and rubbed her back in soothing circles as Sasha sobbed uncontrollably. Michelle felt sorry for the crying dancer in her arms.

"I'm so sorry." Sasha said through her tears, "I'm so, so sorry." She said crying even harder in Michelle's arms.

"Honey, don't apologize to me." Michelle said comfortingly.

"This is my fault. You could be doing other things than taking care of my emotional state." Sasha said flatly.

Michelle pulled back, "Hey, there's nothing I would rather be doing." Sasha smiled at her. "But, we do need to talk about this."

Sasha sighed and wiped her eyes, "I know, but can we do it somewhere else? I think Madame Fanny has a class soon." Sasha said pointing to the kids in the dressing room.

"Sure, we can do it at my place." Michelle said helping Sasha up.

"Thank you" Sasha said as they walked to Michelle's house.

"Thank you? I haven't done anything yet." Michelle said.

"Maybe you don't realize it, but you already have." Sasha said as they walked up to Michelle's door.

Michelle opened the door and sat on the couch with Sasha.

"Do you want anything to eat?" she asked her.

"I'm fine." Sasha replied.

"So," Michelle said, "Did you put anything on those cuts?" Sasha shook her head.

"I was at school." She said.

"Hold on, I might have some medicine for you to put on it." Michelle said going into her bathroom and coming out with a bottle of peroxide and a towel. She poured the liquid onto the towel and had Sasha take off her jacket.

"Now, this may sting a little." Michelle said as she put the towel on Sasha's arm.

Sasha winced, but it quickly went away. "Thanks." She said after Michelle was done.

"Alright kid," Michelle said after putting the medicine away and putting new bandages on Sasha. "What's on your mind?"

"My parents are fighting, as usual." Sasha scoffed.

"Is that why you cut yourself?" Michelle asked. "No judgment, I promise."

"My dad's gay, and the man he loves is moving away. I mean one day he's straight and married to my mom, the next he's gay and STILL married to my mom. It's just confusing."

"Confusing for you, or for your dad?" Michelle asked.

"Both, I guess. He's living a lie. He's gay, but pretending to be straight because he thinks my mom will never figure it out. But, she obviously has because they fight 24/7." Sasha said sadly. "I guess I did it because I was hurt, by my dad, my mom, I guess by everyone."

"And did cutting yourself change anything? Is your dad still gay? Yes. You didn't change anything." Michelle replied.

"But it made me feel a lot better. It was instant relief." Sasha said.

"But there are other ways to make you feel better. We're talking about it, and doesn't that make you feel better?" Michelle asked looking her in the eye.

Sasha nodded, not wanting to answer, for she thought she might cry yet again.

"Good. See, you can always talk to me about this kind of stuff. I've been there, I've lived through it. I'll always be here and I'll always be your shoulder to cry on." Michelle said smiling.

Sasha smiled as well. "Thanks Michelle," she said falling back into her arms. "I've never had anyone in my life be so nice to me, so motherly. But, now I do. You're more of a mother than my mom will ever be." Sasha said when they pulled away.

"I don't know about that," Michelle said. "Your mom is your mom."

"My mom could care less about me, Michelle. She would never talk to me about all this. Trust me, I already like you more than my mom and I've only known you for a few weeks."

"That means a lot. Things are going to suck for a while, I'm being completely honest. But things will get better, and you can always talk to me about this. Anytime or anywhere, I'm always here. And my door's always open for you. But I will say, I'm not a mother, so maybe my advice might not always be reliable, but I'll try just for you. I'll be your mom anytime you need me to." Michelle smiled. She had never thought of herself a mom to anyone.

Sasha smiled. "Thanks, Mom."

"Anytime kid. Now, give me your phone."

Sasha questioned her actions. "Why?"

"Because," Michelle started taking her phone. "I'm putting in my number as an emergency contact. That way, I'm only a phone call or text away if you need me. If you're ever in trouble or want to talk, just call. I'll be waiting."

Sasha took her phone back and smiled, "I've never had someone say these words to me. Thanks."

"Promise me one thing," Michelle started looking down, "Don't do this again. You don't need to, because you have me."

Sasha paused before answering, "Okay. It's a deal."

"Good, now you should probably get home because it's getting late."

"It's only 7 o'clock. That's not late." Sasha exclaimed.

"Right, are you hungry? How does the Oyster Bar sound?" Michelle asked.

"Inevitable." Sasha replied, "But it's the only place open, so let's go get some onion rings." Sasha smiled.

Michelle and Sasha sat at the Oyster Bar for almost 2 hours just talking and laughing, something Sasha really hadn't done in a while. Even if she would never tell anyone this, she was grateful for Michelle. She was like the mother she never had, and now she was like a mentor to her. Someone she could tell anything to in confidence. Sasha knew this would be a new beginning for her.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Thanks for the sweet reviews! They made my day!

DID YOU GUYS SEE THE SUMMER FINALE? Like what?

I almost cried, and the only season finale I've ever cried at was Glee's season 3 finale. I feel like when they did the "O Captain! My captain!" thing and all stood up for Michelle (literally) that's when I got so sad. And all the parents hate her over a simple accident! I love that Sasha was the first one to stand up for her, I feel like they've both been through a lot this season. Anyways, can't wait for the winter premiere because now my Mondays will be lonely! Hope you enjoy this next chapter!

A few weeks had passed since Sasha and Michelle's talk. Occasionally, if things were bad at home she would spend the night with Michelle. Sasha hadn't cut herself anymore, and she was starting to feel like everything was in place.

One Friday morning, Sasha was sitting in her room getting ready for school. Her parent's fight was the worst out of all of them this morning, and her mother was throwing things and breaking glass. It made Sasha worried, that would this be the last time they ever saw each other again? After about an hour of listening to them fight, Sasha couldn't take it anymore. She was about to leave, when she heard her mother yell, "Get out!" followed by a slam of a door and some quiet sobs. She quickly finished getting ready for school and left early. When she got there, hardly anyone was there. A few nerds who like to study before school started a few people there finishing make up tests, and the swim team was practicing. Sasha knew this was the perfect for her to sit in the bathroom and just cry for a while. Was her mom really kicking her dad out? And would they get a divorce? Sasha then got a text from her brother:

Mom called her lawyer after you left to file for a divorce.

That's when Sasha's heart broke. It was true, her mom had officially said goodbye to her dad. Sasha took out not her scissors from her bag, but a pocket knife this time. She took off her dance jacket and began cutting her wrists again, like she had once done a few weeks ago. Sasha realized that the more blood that came out, the more she couldn't stop crying. Eventually, the floor around her had blood all over it and she was starting to feel dizzy. She couldn't stand up straight. After sitting down on the toilet seat, she realized she couldn't keep her eyes open much longer. She reached for her phone out of her pocket and tried to dial for Boo, Melanie or Ginny, but instead she pressed Michelle's name instead.

"Sasha? What's wrong? Shouldn't you be at school?" Michelle said on the other line. She could hear slow breathing, but then the breathing stopped. She heard someone flush the toilet, but no one was on the line. But Sasha didn't respond, because she had already passed out.

"Sasha? Are you there? Answer me!" Michelle said, fearful of what she could have done.

"Sasha, I'm on my way!" Michelle hung up and grabbed her car keys and drove to the high school. When she got there, students were in the hall ways, and Michelle was frantically looking for Sasha. She asked everyone in her sight, "Have you seen Sasha?" but the answer was always no. Until, she found one little freshman, who had said she went to the bathroom about 45 minutes ago. He pointed her to the direction of the bathroom, and Michelle darted there. She opened the door, and cried "Sasha?" but no response. She looked under the stalls and saw no feet except in the very last stall, was someone's feet.

"Sasha, answer me!"

Michelle kicked open the stall door, to find Sasha sitting on the toilet, leaning against the stall wall for support, and also passed out. Michelle checked her pulse, and knew she wasn't dead. She looked at the knife in her bag and the blood on her arms and the floor.

"Sasha," Michelle gasped. She quickly dialed 911 saying that Sasha was passed out in a bathroom stall. Michelle cleaned up the blood on the floor and picked Sasha up so she would be out of the bathroom stall. Minutes later, when the ambulance got there, the nurses put Sasha on a gurney and placed an oxygen mask over her face.

"Are you her mother?" one of the nurses asked.

"Yes, I am." Michelle knew that was technically true, Sasha was like a daughter to her. The nurses carried her to the back of the ambulance, and Michelle sat in the back with her. As the ambulance started driving towards the hospital, Michelle gripped onto Sasha's hand.

"You're going to be fine kiddo." She smiled.

After they got to the hospital, Michelle had to wait in the waiting room while the doctors were going to see if they could figure out when Sasha would wake up again. After about an hour, a nurse came back out to get Michelle, and took her to room 129 where Sasha was. When she got in there, Sasha was in fact awake and her arms were bandaged up.

"You found her at the right time," the doctor said. "She lost quite a lot of blood, but she was also very dehydrated and the combination of the two is what caused her to feel dizzy and pass out. We've cleaned her arms and put bandages around them, and she'll need to change them twice a day. We also gave her some antibiotics to help her system with the loss of blood and dehydration. I'll leave you two alone now, call if you need me." The doctor said as he left.

"Michelle I can," Sasha was cut off by Michelle.

"How could you, Sasha? You told me you weren't doing this anymore. You promised! Do you realize that you could have died today? Do you even remember what happened?"

"My parents are getting a divorce." Sasha said flatly while sitting up.

"What?" Michelle asked sadly.

"My mom kicked him out this morning, and called her lawyer after I left for the divorce papers." Sasha said starting to cry again.

"Honey," was all Michelle could say before giving her a hug. She felt so sorry that her parents had caused her to act like this. She rubbed her back like she had weeks before, telling her it was alright. "You can stay with me as long as you need to." Michelle said before hugging her again.

"Can I ask you something?" Sasha suddenly said.

"Shoot" Michelle replied.

"Are you angry with me?"

Michelle sighed, "No, but I hate the position you put yourself in, Sasha. You realize you could have died!"

"But you came to save me. And my mom would have never done that for me. But you did. You saved me Michelle." Sasha smiled.

Michelle moved Sasha's hair out of her face. "And I would hope you would do the same for me." Michelle said.

"I would," Sasha said. "Ever since you've gotten here, you've made me different. You've made us all different."

"I hope that's a good thing." Michelle laughed.

"It is. Thanks for coming to my rescue." Sasha said seriously.

Michelle nodded her head. "Now, according to the doctor's notes here, you get to leave this afternoon if you get more fluids in you. Now, I want you to rest for a while so you can go home."

"Home," Sasha questioned. "I can't go back home."

"I mean your home with me." Michelle said. "Now I'm serious, go to sleep. I will be right here when you wake up."

Sasha smiled, "I love you, mom." and closed her eyes.

Michelle smiled, "I love you too Sasha." Sasha began falling asleep, and Michelle sat in the chair next to her bed. Sasha was going to be okay, and she would make sure of that.

Sorry for the short chapter! I actually have dance today so I don't have much time to write! Anyways I don't know if Sasha actually has siblings, so let's pretend she does! Anyways thanks for reading! Keep reviewing!


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